Gastric Hat Trick as Boro Storm Local Rivals
By Rob Armstrong
Boro's OAP wannabes made the journey to local rivals Kettering for what is always a keenly fought contest.
Boro welcomed back old looking faces in Bobby Dhillon (much to the delight of shower comrades Crabbers & Owen) and import Chris Pickett.
A heavy list of withdrawals on Friday meant that Boro travelled with only 15 players...With kick off only 15 minutes away concern was spreading through the team as only 12 players had turned up...
This was intensified when Brendan Hulse walked through the door in place of fellow albino-gingerite Ciaran Patsy Murphy who was apparently taking care of his pussy.
Brendan/Ciaran was followed shortly after by Terry? and at 2:57pm future angina victim Rhys Logan entered the paddock.
Boro ran out comfortable winners with tries from Rhys Logan (3), Andy Seaton(2), Adam White, Phil Meyer, Connor Maynard and Chris Parry. Seaton adding 4 conversions and 3 penalties.
Player ratings as follows-
Adam Parker- slimming down nicely ahead of his holiday to Bali next week. Solid scrummaging lay the platform for the backs. 7
Terry?- The OGs don't like him but we do. Great hands for a forward, unlike Bobby and Rhys…… 7
Rhys Logan- sensational back handed pass to no one when clean through to score. Scored 3 try's with a total distance covered of approximately 3 meters. Can shuffle truffle. 8
John Ainge- toothless in the mouth and around the park. Salmon in the line out. 7
Bobby Dhillon- huge nose, huge impact. Panted a lot. 7
Wind Mills- needs to do more sit ups. His wife trims his eyebrows. Tackled anything that moved for the whole 80. Got winded. 7
Tom Meyer- frequently mistaken for Ross Kemp, Rene from Aqua, Lex Luther, Harry Hill and a sex pest. His dad would rather watch the 1st team play. Turned over Kettering ball all game. 7
Chris Parry- angry looking and scored a try. Smokes a lot- Could be northern. Carried the ball well to put Boro on the front foot. 9
Chris Pickett- passing was straight out of the Luke Smith's hand book. Solid re-integration into society. 7
Andy Seaton- Scored 2 try's and missed a shed load of conversions. Again. Needs to stop rugby training. Got pied in the face. 7
Connor Maynard- can't catch won't catch. A bit ginger looking. Scored a try and tackled well. Promising Pop career. 7
Phil Meyer- see 'Tom Meyer' it's hard to believe that he's below 40. Scored a try and managed to wind himself. 7
Adam White- bitched about his groin all afternoon, scored and a try and was banished into the pack. 7
Brendan/Ciaran Hulse- illusive running and good under the high ball. Brendan/Ciaran's every touch was met with shrieks of delight from the touch line. At last 1 year old 'red' Ted Meyer had a role model he can aspire and identify with. 7
Eddie Johnson- goes to the gym a lot but still has man boobs. Some nice breaks but still hasn't scored this season- 7
A good all round performance from Boro against a resilient Kettering side.